


the barbie with roses

by glovepolly26



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: AU, F/F, Fluff, Lesbian, Lesbian AU, Maybe - Freeform, Mild Smut, Slow Burn, friends to best friends to gay, i dont know if im capable of actually committing to that, it will be a little slow, maybe but i dont know, this isn't very planned, time will tell, trixya - Freeform, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-02-11 05:51:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12928863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glovepolly26/pseuds/glovepolly26
Summary: As little kids, Person 1 makes a promise to Person 2 saying they will take them on a date when they “grow up."  1 moves away, however, but Person 2 never forgot. One day when they are both “grown up”, someone approaches Person 2 with a bouquet of roses, and Person 2 doesn’t recognize them at first.It’s Person 1, they kept their promise.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hii! this was originally supposed to be a one-shot but i haven't posted anything in a while so i decided to make it 2 or 3 parts. i have not abandoned My Notebook, i just really wanted to write this. i don't know which one will be out next. I already have a little bit of this next chapter written. my tumblr is trixyavelour because i don't feel like making a link sorry

Katya and her mom just moved from Boston to Wisconsin. Their house is small and comfy. It has dark grey paneling on the sides with a dark rooftop. There are lighter grey stairs leading up to the little deck up front. The deck has two chairs on it, now that they live there. One for Katya, and one for Katya's mom. There's a thick white fence lining the deck. Katya likes it, and she made sure her mom knew that by constantly telling her that.

Katya is only five years old. She has a square face with prominent (for a five-year-old) cheekbones. Her slightly dirty blonde hair stops just below her shoulders. Katya basically wears the same outfit every day. She has dark green overalls with a bright yellow shirt under. She always throws a fit when her mom urges her to take it off so she can wash it.

Katya's room has a small bed placed in the middle. The walls are a weird cream color, but Katya knows she will learn to love them. Her dresser is small, but it fits all of her four outfits easily.

The first few days that Katya lives there, her mom and she eat pancakes every morning. Katya loves her new home immediately.

-

Katya has never been one for the color pink. Most people expect five-year-old girls to be crazy for pink. Katya just hasn't ever liked it. It's too "girly" for her. She is more attracted to deeper shades of color like navy and dark red.

Having said that, Katya has never wanted to be friends with someone more than this hyper little girl. All this girl wears is pink. She constantly has one of those fake, plastic hair extensions in her hair. It's a stark contrast to her beach blonde hair.

It's actually pretty ugly, but Katya would never tell Trixie this out loud.

Trixie, short for Beatrix, lives two houses down from Katya. She's much chubbier than Katya, but Katya is stick thin. Trixie is a few inches taller as well. Trixie has told Katya how she's taller than all of the boys that go to her school.

Katya could never imagine that for herself. She's just shy of being the shortest at her school.

 -

After school, Katya and Trixie always go to each other's houses. They have a game. Whoever knocks on the other's door first wins, and they will stay at that house to play. Katya soon learns that if Trixie owns any article of clothing that is not pink, she will never wear it.

On the topic of clothes, Trixie has a lot. Like, a lot. Katya is pretty sure it was illegal to have this many clothes. Especially in the color pink. Katya doesn't really know how they are friends. The only way they are similar is that they both have blonde hair. That is it.

Trixie will often urge Katya to try her own clothing on, then they will have a fashion show. At least that's what Trixie calls it. It's really just an excuse for Trixie to put on all of her clothes.

Katya does, however, make Trixie put all of her clothes back by herself because she always forced Katya to play the game with her.

Trixie lives with her mom and her dad, while Katya only lives with her mom. Usually, everyone asks why she didn't have a dad, and Katya does not know the answer to that. She gets tired of always telling people how and why she doesn't know. Thankfully, Trixie never asked. She may have not even noticed.

Trixie and Katya only have fun with each other. It has not and will never be any other way. At least that's what Katya thinks.

-

Trixie's parents are going out. That means Trixie is going to spend the night at Katya's. She's really excited because, for some reason, they've never had a sleepover. Trixie packs three different pyjama sets because she wants Katya to pick for her.

Trixie's parents walk her over to Katya's. Trixie thinks her mom looks so pretty. Her mom has a little black dress on, but it's sparkly all over. Her mom's hair is curled perfectly, and Trixie loves the little bounce they have as she walks. Trixie wants to look like that when she grows up.

After in the comfort of Katya's all too familiar room, Trixie lays all of her pajamas out. She brought one set that is yellow so that Katya didn't have to pick pink. Low and behold, Katya picks the yellow.

Trixie huffs and goes to the bathroom to change. After she gets back, she punches Katya lightly on her arm. Katya squeals and runs onto her bed. Trixie chases her around Katya's small room until she can't run anymore.

After two more rounds of this chasing game that had no objective, Trixie proposes an idea.

"You know how my mommy and daddy are on a date tonight?"

"Yes," Katya responds, eyeing Trixie.

"We should go on a date! Wouldn't that be so fun?" Trixie says very, very enthusiastically.

"Trix, don't be silly. We are too little to go on dates. My momma says so."

"Well, not now Katya! Like when we are older! Please?" Trixie begs, poking Katya's arm over and over.

"Okay," Katya says, hesitant. "But we have to be really old. Like fourteen or something."

Trixie shook with excitement and hugs Katya. She squeals.

"Okay, okay. When we are really old, I will take you on a date! I promise!" Trixie holds out her pinky with bright eyes. Katya stuck out her pink and connects it with Trixie's. Trixie squeals again which makes Katya smile.

-

For the next three years, Trixie reminds Katya every few months of her promise. Trixie makes sure to tell Katya, especially on her birthday. "I'm still taking you on a date when we are old, Katya," she'd say. Katya will always remember whether Trixie tells her or not.

Then something terrible happens. Trixie notices how her parents' relationship has been changing. There's more yelling, so Trixie walks to Katya's house more often now. Her parents always know that if she's not home, she's at Katya's.

Trixie spends numerous nights at Katya's house because she doesn't want to walk back to a home full of arguing and yelling.

Then the news is dropped on Trixie. Her parents are getting divorced. That means she is going to have to move and leave Katya. As soon as her mom tells her this, she runs to Katya's house where she sobs into Katya's bed.

Trixie is babbling about how she doesn't want to leave and how she will miss Katya. Trixie's rant even sparks a few tears in Katya's eyes. By now, they were nine. Katya should have more friends, but she doesn't. Trixie is the only friend Katya has ever known.

Trixie does have a friend at school, Kim. Even though she is moving, she will still be attending the same school. Maybe Katya can persuade her mom into letting her switch schools. She will try later.

Kim is more on the chubbier side, much like Trixie. They connected because of their interest in bright colors. Pink is what really drew Kim to Trixie. A lot of the other kids, mainly boys, always think the amount of pink she wears is "gross." Trixie doesn't understand it, and she doesn't care that she doesn't understand it.

Trixie is very thankful for Kim, especially now that she won't be living by Katya. Kim and she aren't super close. Nowhere near Trixie and Katya's friendship, but it's comforting knowing she will have someone to have as a friend.

Neither Katya nor Trixie knew that "normal" dates consisted of one male and one female. Most people know that by ages nine and ten, but nobody had ever told them, so they continue to find their date socially acceptable.

A few weeks pass, and it's the day before Trixie is moving out. Katya is freaking out. She has never felt the way she does right now. She keeps feeling dizzy and so utterly upset. Katya truly doesn't know how she's going to survive this. Her nine-year-old self is probably exaggerating everything by twenty percent, but that doesn't change the way she feels.

Katya and Trixie spend every single day together, much like they did before. This time, though, they sleep over at Trixie's house almost every night. Katya wakes up extra early to get ready for school, despite how much she hates waking up early.

-

It's finally time. It is finally that time for Trixie and Katya's final goodbye. That's what Katya is assuming anyway, so if by some sort of chance they meet again, she will be more than ecstatic.

They hug for at least seven solid minutes. Somehow, they're both holding their composure and not crying. Right before Trixie leaves, she whispers, "Don't forget about our date." That makes Katya smile.

Katya watches in despair as a furniture truck follows Trixie's car. She watches until she knows she can't see it at all.

Katya trudges back to the house. She never in a million years thought she would get this heartbroken. She spends the next few days mourning, rarely, but sometimes crying.

Katya thinks about Trixie every day until eighth grade. In eighth grade, Katya meets a strange girl named Alaska that recently transferred schools. She's very tall, taller than Trixie, and she's very very thin. When Alaska walks, she sometimes looks like Bambi on ice. Katya loves it.

Katya is so happy that she's finally making a friend. Five years of sitting alone took a toll on her mental health. She notices that many of the other girls in her grade do whatever they can to make their bodies look sexy. Whether it's sucking their stomach in or pushing their chest out.

Katya has never been one to do that. She hated it. She thought it was gross how girls that were barely teenagers were exploiting their bodies. Katya just wears whatever she wants which is usually a baggy t-shirt with sweatpants or skinny jeans. Her favorite shoes are her converse.

Alaska has a much different style. She loves wearing semi-tight shirts with skirts. It's not the same as the other girls, though. Katya knows this because even when they aren't in public, Alaska dresses the same which means she dresses to make her happy, not all of the boys around her.

Speaking of boys, Katya didn't like any of them except for one. Ben was in between a friend and an acquaintance. He is the only boy Katya talks to more than once a week. All of the other boys are annoying and sexual which she doesn't like.

For a fourteen-year-old, Katya is very political. She knows where she stands, and she will fight anyone that goes against what she thinks. She has good reasoning for everything she thinks. She loves debating with people because she's always right. She will always win. She prides herself on that.

The most important political topic to Katya is sexuality. She first learned about sexuality about two years ago. Since then, she's become so educated in the LGBTQ community. She's not sure what she identifies as. She's never had a crush on anyone. Not one boy. Not one girl. She doesn't really express this opinion as much because she knows about the endless teasing and taunting she would receive.

Alaska is the only one she could talk to about this. About how she doesn't have the faintest idea of what her sexuality it. Alaska isn't as strongly opinionated as Katya, but she does believe there is nothing wrong with the LGBTQ community. It's nice for Alaska to be able to talk to Katya as well.

Katya is insanely happy that she has found a friend she can really talk to. That's when she stops thinking about Trixie every single day. She still thinks about her a lot though. It's been five more years, and Katya still vividly remembers Trixie's promise. Katya has now learned why Trixie might not even keep her promise. Going on a date with Trixie doesn't even seem smart anymore. It would be weird for them because they don't like each other romantically. "It's a childhood promise. Even if the date still happened, it's not like it would mean anything," Katya thinks.

Katya wonders what Trixie is up to. She wonders what school she goes to now, and what happened with Kim. She wonders what Trixie looks like and just how she's doing.

Katya never tells Alaska about Trixie. Then she would have to explain this whole story, and it would be all complicated.

Whenever Katya is deeper into thought, she gets sad knowing she will probably never see Trixie again. It's the sad truth. There would have to be some sort of god (or goddess because she's not sexist) to lead her and Trixie to meet again.

Katya has dreamt of meeting Trixie again, but when she wakes up, she can never remember what actually happened. She wished she remembered though.

-

Katya is a senior in high school. Her and Alaska are still best friends. Four years going strong.

Every year that went by, Katya thought less and less about Trixie. She thought less and less about Trixie's promise, but it will forever be burrowed in the back of her brain. Every once in a while, the thought of her and Trixie on a date popped up into her head again.

Senior year has been stressful, but it's blowing by. Katya's grades are decent, and she's proud of herself. She's become more social, and she has more friends now, but none are as close as Alaska.

Katya has determined that she thinks she is bisexual, but she has yet to be totally sure. She still hasn't ever had a significant other, and she's fine with that. Love doesn't really seem like a big deal for her. There have been a few that she was attracted to based on appearance, but nothing ever happened.

Anyway, Katya is so excited to graduate. She's going to an art college. In the past few years, Katya discovered she's pretty damn good at sketching and painting. She even caught herself drawing what she imagined Trixie to look like once or twice.

Katya's childhood is starting to become a blur. She doesn't really remember anything that happened except for that stupid promise. "Don't forget about our date," was permanently burned into her brain whether she wanted it to be or not. There's no way Trixie could remember this. It was so long ago, and Katya is pretty sure the only reason she remembers it is because she thinks she might like girls. The only reason Katya remembers is because she learned that it's not customary for two females to go on a date with each other. That's what she tells herself.

-

High school is over. Katya and Alaska must depart, but their phones are enough to keep their friendship going. The name of Katya's college is all fancy. So fancy, in fact, she can never remember the name. It's an art school that is dumb enough to pick her out of hundreds or thousands of people to attend their school. 

Katya still has yet to decide what her art style is, what mediums she likes to use, what kind of things she likes to draw, etc. Right now, everything is a blur, and her dorm is a mess full of failed sketches, successful sketches, half-done sketches, and there's paint all over a few of her items. She's very lost in her art at the moment, but many people at the school are, so she doesn't stress too much about it. All she knows is that she's good, and people are recognizing that.

Katya's roommate is a girl named Raja. She draws mostly portraits. Katya thinks they're amazing. Raja can come up with different characters in her head which Katya has never been able to do, and she admires that. Though Katya doesn't know what her style is, she's sure it's not portraits and realism. It's nice to have a roommate with a different kind of art style. It's like a breath of fresh air.

It's about halfway through the year. Along with regular school, art is stressing Katya out too. Katya doesn't know if an artist has to have a style because she sure doesn't. She doesn't think she will ever have a style. She just does whatever she wants to, and it will usually come out decent.

Katya does not like most of her art. It's rare for her to actually like what she creates, and it's even rarer that she's proud of a piece. People are always telling her how beautiful the things she makes are which she appreciates. 

Katya doesn't really meet or have any other close friends like Alaska. She has plenty of people to talk to, but she doesn't have anyone to fully talk to about her feelings and emotions. 

Alaska and Katya do still text a lot. They occasionally facetime too. Katya is very grateful that Alaska didn't ditch her when they left for college. She doesn't know how she would function without someone to spill or soul out on. 

Alaska informs Katya that she has found a boyfriend, Aaron. She often pines to Katya about him, and Katya is so happy for her. She loves when great things happen to deserving people. Alaska definitely deserves love. From what she's heard, Katya thinks Aaron is good for Alaska. They both have weird senses of humor, and they're more best friends than anything.

On the topic of significant others, nothing. Katya hasn't found anyone. She hasn't had that spark in her body when she sees someone.

-

Somehow, already three years of college have zoomed past Katya. She's proud of her grades and her art. Seeing so many different peoples' art made her realize that it doesn't matter if her piece doesn't look exactly like this or that persons. Everyone's art is very accepted in the school, and that's taught Katya to love the majority of what she creates.

Her and Raja have become closer, still not Alaska level yet, but it's getting there. Katya is much more open to Raja about most everything. It's nice to have someone in real life to talk to.

She hasn't seen Alaska in nearly four years. That's crazy to her because they're still very close. They've moved on to facetiming almost every night now.

Katya hasn't thought about Trixie in a while. Like it has been a  _long_  time. It might have even been over a year now. She still hasn't forgotten though. " _Don't forget about our date_."

Katya hasn't thought about what she wants her job to be either. That's a lie. She has thought about, but she has no idea what she wants to be. Nothing is appealing to her. Katya strongly believes that to live a good life, you have to have a job you love. When she's looking online for jobs that have to do with what she likes (art,) she thinks about that a lot. Nothing has jumped out at her. If something does, she does more research then finds a few reasons that she doesn't want to pursue that career anymore.

-

Boom. Just like that, college is done. Katya successfully graduated. She's actually very proud of herself. The first thing Katya does is look for an apartment. She's been planning decorating ideas in her head a lot. She's very excited to move into her own place. 

Ideally, Katya wants an apartment that has a small but open kitchen with a comfy living room. She doesn't care for a big bedroom, but she does want one room dedicated to her bed. She also wants an office or a room to do art in. She has decided she will do something art related for her career, but she still has to figure what that job is. She has a few ideas in mind, though.

Lucky for Katya, she finds just that. She finds a small apartment that she falls in love with. After she's done moving in, the kitchen has a white aesthetic. There's a small island in the middle, and there are a ton of cabinets. The living room has a comfy three-spot brown sofa sat in front of an electric fireplace, and there's a TV hanging above it. There's a dark red rug covering most of the floor in the living room. In the corner, there is a door leading to Katya's small bedroom. Her queen size bed fits snuggly in one corner with a dresser placed at the end. The walls are pastel yellow which she doesn't mind. That's about it for her room.

Her art room is bigger than her bedroom. There's a big wooden desk placed in front of a single window. There are shelves almost everywhere with bins full of random art supplies Katya needs to organize. She has a giant sketchpad on the desk with a pencil holder and multiple erasers. She thinks she will paint a mural on one or two of the walls because their off-white color is too boring for Katya.

Katya does fall in love with her apartment almost as soon as everything is settled. She thinks the price she is paying for it is a steal for the apartment. She loves her couch and her art room and her TV. She's actually proud of herself for the way she decorated. It's definitely not similar to "normal" decor, but Katya has never been one to follow customaries. 

Two months into living in her apartment, Katya decides on a job she thinks she will like. She wants to be a graphic designer, but she wants to have more than just that job. She knows she won't get paid much just for graphic design, so she wants another small job. It's a start though, and it should be enough to continue paying for her apartment. 

Katya's also going to sell her artwork. She doesn't know where, but she knows at least some people may buy it. She's been sketching, as she usually does. She draws in all different styles, but one of her favorites is taking realistic references and making them very exaggerated. Almost cartoon-like. She doesn't know what to call it, but she likes doing that the most. But her favorite can change depending on the day.

Katya and Alaska call whenever they can, but it's not easy to stay connected because Alaska is working hard as a singer. She's writing songs and trying to find places to record them professionally. Alaska has a small following, but Katya just knows it will grow. Katya is very proud of Alaska, and she really hopes they can meet up soon, but with Alaska's busy schedule, she doesn't get her hopes up.

-

Katya has gotten more art opportunities than she thought she would. Apparently a lot of people like whatever she draws. She gets commissions pretty often because she can do basically whatever anybody wants. At this rate, she doesn't think she will need another job. She somehow got wrapped into helping some people design the interior of their houses. 

Katya learns that she can decorate very well, just her own preferences and others' are most likely different. All of the commissions she gets has her working hard. Something she didn't expect is that selling her art is getting her more money than graphic design. She's going to call this her job. She's extremely lucky because she does love drawing, painting, coloring, etc. And she isn't great at coming up with things to draw in her head, so all the commissions that are emailed to her really encourage her.

One of her favorite drawings she has made was a mother and her baby. The baby was curled into the mother's neck, smiling. The buyer requested that it be a charcoal drawing which Katya had never done before, but she thought it turned out very well. The picture sent to her as a reference was beautiful.

Katya has never really thought about kids. She doesn't know if she wants any or not. It just depends on who she is having them with, she guesses. 

-

It's insane that it's been three years since Katya graduate college. She is twenty-five now. She has her own website for selling art. She's earned a good following on Instagram. She posts most everything she draws, and if it's a commission, she always asks permission first. She's gotten noticed by a few small art agencies which is amazing. She never thought her art would take her this far.

Katya has so many emails for art commissions. She has enough art to do for months. Her goal is to always finish at least one commission every day. She works every single day. She's only taken a few days off once, and she felt sort of ashamed because she thought she was disappointing those paying for her to draw. 

She doesn't take weekends off. She doesn't take work days off either.

Katya's apartment is still the same, nothing has changed except the amount of paint splattered everywhere in her art room. The amount of paint she's had to scrape out of her hair because it wouldn't come out in the shower is uncountable.

Katya and Alaska rarely talk which makes Katya upset if she thinks about it too much. She knows Alaska doesn't mean any harm, she's just very busy. Alaska has two albums out. She's working incredibly hard which means she is incredibly busy. Katya is too.

Sometimes, she spends twelve plus hours on one art project. She sometimes doesn't get more than two hours of sleep because she's working on a single drawing for so long. She doesn't go in public much either. If she does, it's usually to get groceries. Very rarely will she go out just to walk or get fresh air. The window in her art room is always open, no matter the temperature outside.

One thing Katya loves about herself is that she will never start a project without being done with the one she is working on. If she did, her anxiety would be much worse. Sometimes, she opens too many emails at once, and her mind goes wild. She gets very stressed and has panic attacks. Her brain will stir with so many different drawings that it will start to ache.

Katya feels very bad when she responds to a commission more than two weeks later than it was sent. She tries to at least respond to people telling them when she thinks their drawing might be done. She does the math and figures it out, or at least around when she thinks it will be. 

Katya wishes she could take more breaks because her hands _always_  hurt. Both of them! She has learned to use her left hand for multiple tasks when working on something. 

She always listens to music. She doesn't know what she would do without it. Dead silence makes her heart speed up, and she becomes anxious. Any music will work. Any sound will work, even. She can't sleep at night unless the TV is playing or a fan is on. 

Silence makes her feel lonely which is why she doesn't like it. It reminds her that she's alone in her small apartment and hasn't physically had a friend in years. She talks to many people online, but it's definitely not the same.

Katya desperately wishes she had a relationship. She wishes she had someone to lay with on her big bed. She wishes she had someone to talk to while she paints away. She wishes she had someone to hug and kiss and love.

She's starting to lose hope for herself. She's hooked up a few times (or a lot,) just to not feel too lonely. She's thought about getting a pet, but she doesn't really have that much time to really take care of it. Pets are usually high maintenance, and Katya's bad at dealing with that kind of stuff.

At the end of the day, Katya just really hopes she finds someone. Anyone.

-

Katya has been going on more walks. She's figured out that it's actually good for her. It helps her not feel so cramped all the time, and it stretches her muscles out. She loves walking to the dog park and playing with all of the dogs. It makes her work less stressful. Her favorites are the pugs. Their scrunchy faces always find a way to make her smile.

Her mom still lives in the same little house. It's not that far away from her apartment which Katya is grateful for because that means her mom is always a short drive away.

She likes to go to her mom just to talk about life and her job. Katya came out a few years ago to her mom as bisexual. Katya didn't expect her to be upset, but she definitely didn't expect her to react the way she did.

Her mom basically drabbled about how she knew because of the way she acted when she was young. She brought up the way she acted around Trixie which threw her off.

Did she really act like that around Trixie?  _Trixie_. Katya hasn't thought about her in a while. She's not even sure she really cared about her anymore which is kind of a terrible thing to say, but it was true.

After that, Katya had Trixie on her for a few hours, but after she went to sleep, she forgot again.

It has become a routine for Katya to go on walks now. They help calm her nerves if she's ever anxious, and it helps her paint and draw for longer periods of time because she's stretched her body. She most likes to go in the morning about an hour after she wakes up. That way, when she sits down, she won't have to get up again or much. Sometimes, if she needs to, she will go in the middle of the day when she's feeling cramped.

It's Katya's favorite time of the year to walk too. It's Autumn, and all of the leaves are changing. The smell of wet grass and dry leaves is comforting for her. The colors of the leaves inspire her to go make very colorful pieces. 

Even though she isn't really one for fashion, Autumn also inhabits some of Katya's favorite fashion trends. Katya loves wearing her Timberland boots. She loves the style and the way they hug her feet. They're basically the only shoes she owns except for a few pairs of heels and sneakers.

Because it's Katya's favorite season, she usually goes on two walks a day. One in the morning, and one around dusk. She likes when the park is not crowded. It's the perfect time and place to think. If someone gives her a brief description of what they want in a piece and tell her to do what she thinks, she almost always finds an idea while walking alone. She doesn't know how she kept calm before her daily exercise.

-

It's getting colder and colder by the day. Katya is very tolerant to cold temperatures, but she's started to need to wear heavier jackets now. Almost every day, she sits on the bench to take in the last of the colored leaves barely hanging onto the now dead-looking trees.

It's November 14 and it's particularly crowded day. It's making Katya kind of nervous if she's honest. She sits down on the same bench she usually does. It's metal and the black paint is peeling everywhere. It's probably in the worst condition of all the benches in the park, but Katya has grown some sort of bond to it which she thinks is stupid.

She sits for longer with hopes that more people will start to leave. She knows she's being ridiculous. There aren't even that many people there. It's not like she wouldn't have space. It's just not as empty as usual, so she is not as comfortable as she usually is. 

Katya is deep in thought, thinking about her family and Christmas. A figure stops in front of her, but she pretends not to notice. She hopes this person isn't stopping because of her. She's afraid to look up because she doesn't know what she will find. A serial killer? Someone who wants her to fill out a survey? Her anxiety is off the roof. After a few seconds of no response, this mystery person speaks.

"Katya?" a woman questions.

Katya's heart skips a beat. She is very freaked out. Despite her nerves telling her to get up and run away, she looks up. She finds a woman standing in front of her. She's tall, has big, poofy hair, and a lot of makeup on. Katya looks her up and down without trying to be rude. Her bright pink coat almost blinds her because it's so bright.

Katya raises both eyebrows. Her cheeks turn pink because you are supposed to remember someone when you meet them, and she does not. Katya tears her eyes away, embarrassed. She thinks really really hard. Anyone that she's ever met with big blond hair, big lips, and who is tall. It all hits her at once. Trixie.  _Trixie_. Her head immediately begins to ache.

Katya looks back up and stares into the woman's eyes. She knows it's Trixie now. She could never forget her eyes. Katya's mouth hangs open and her eyes widen as she remembers. "Don't forget about our date." "Don't forget about our date." The phrase rings in her brain. She tries to find words, but she can't. This is the first time Katya has ever been truly speechless.

How did Trixie find her? How did she actually know that Katya was Katya? Katya has so many questions. But then Trixie pulls out a bouquet of roses that she had been hiding behind her back. The color of them is somewhere in between pink and red. Kind of like magenta with a little more red. She smiles big and bright, showing Katya her slightly crooked teeth. Katya's head hurts. Her thought process is going at a million miles an hour.

"Close your mouth. You'll catch flies,"  _Trixie_  giggles at herself.

Finally, Katya closed her mouth, smiling a little bit. She looks back away. When she looks up again, Trixie's smile is gone. Her mouth is hanging open slightly, and she's shaking her head.

"I'm so sorry! I think I got the wrong per-"

"Beatrix Mattel," Katya retorts, grinning. Trixie's upset face morphs into one with pride.

"I believe that I must escort you on a date." This is the part Trixie was always worrying about. What if Katya is as straight as uncooked spaghetti? What if she is homophobic? What if she thinks she wants to go on a real date, romantically? All of Trixie's worries are relieved when Katya responds.

"Only if I get to pick the place.”

"Of course."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But," she continues, "We could drop the flowers off at my place and give me time to actually decide." Katya tilts her head, smiles at Trixie. Strands of golden blonde hair fall into her face.
> 
> "Whatever you wish, Madam," Trixie almost laughs at how stupid she sounds. Katya lets a breathy laugh escape her throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy. it's been a while since i've updated anything really. my main focus will be this now instead on My Notebook because i feel that MN has lost it's plot. I will continue and finish it, i will just be focusing on this instead. I first thought it would be a oneshot, then 3 parts, now its multichaptered. 
> 
> i want to thank you for the best response on the last chapter. i didn't think it would have that great of a response but im so grateful it did! i wanted to update this ASAP so sorry this chapter is a little shorter. !
> 
> my tumblr is trixyavelour if you wanna ask anything!

After a few moments of staring, Katya stands up. She takes the flowers and overdramatically smells them. It makes Trixie laugh if you can even call it that. It was more of a cry and scream.

It is very bizarre that Katya is being as out-going as she is. She usually takes some time to open up. Her mind is going crazy still because this is actually insane. All of Katya's questions will make everything awkward, so she leaves them for another time.

Katya's brain and heart can feel and sense that this is, technically, a person she has known for twenty years. The logical part of her brain is telling her that she's an idiot, and she hasn't actually seen this person in twelve years. Nobody is the same person they were twelve years ago. For all she knows, Trixie could be a serial killer now.

Katya's sure Trixie isn't a serial killer, but she's usually wrong about most things.

Trixie holds the hand note holding the flowers out towards Katya. Katya takes it delicately, praying to any higher authority that her hands aren't as sweaty as she feels like they are. Trixie pulls her up, off of the bench in one swift movement.

Katya mumbles a "thanks" that could be taken as rude. Trixie probably would have been offended by it if she didn't see that Katya has a huge grin adorning her face.

"Now, I definitely have no idea where I actually want to go. It was more of an 'in the moment' type of response," Katya admits, waving her hands around when she says "in the moment."

"But," she continues, "We could drop the flowers off at my place and give me time to actually decide." Katya tilts her head, smiles at Trixie. Strands of golden blonde hair fall into her face.

"Whatever you wish, Madam," Trixie almost laughs at how stupid she sounds. Katya lets a breathy laugh escape her throat.

They walk side by side back to Katya's apartment. Not too close though. Trixie still has the ability to kill Katya.

Katya freezes for a moment, but not long enough that Trixie notices. Her apartment definitely is not in a condition that welcomes people. Trixie will just have the deal with it, she guesses.

-

They arrive, and Katya is hesitant to open the big, bulky door that indicates the entrance to her apartment. She bites her lip as she twists the key to unlock it.

"Uh," Katya stutters slightly, the corners of her mouth uplifting in embarrassment. "I really wasn't expecting guests, so I apologize for the mess. I promise I have the potential to be clean." Trixie giggles, so Katya is kind of relieved, she thinks.

Katya pushes the door open with her back, walking backward at an awkward angle. Trixie is still holding the roses, so Katya takes them from her hand.

Katya realizes she doesn't think anyone has ever been to her apartment, and if someone has, it's been a long time. She bites the inside of her lip, the same spot on the left that she always does. She's sure there's an almost permanent mark there by now.

Katya holds the door for Trixie, gesturing for her to walk inside with her hand. Trixie looks around, turning her head towards all directions. Katya gets a nervous feeling in her stomach.

"It's cute," Trixie determines, looking back at Katya as smiling. Katya's head spins because this is unreal. And Katya realizes just how beautiful Trixie is. Her cheeks aren't really chubby anymore. Her legs aren't small and stubby. She's curvy and has measurements that probably sound unnatural.

"Thanks," Katya walks past her, towards the kitchen. Trixie follows a foot or two behind.

Katya retrieves a tall glass cup and fills it with water from the sink. She sets the flowers in the glass, and they fit perfectly. They aren't too long or too short. Just right. She slides the makeshift vase to the center of the counter.

"Ta-da!" Katya wiggles her hands, pointing towards the roses.

Trixie laughs. "Perfect," she confirms.

"Would you like anything to drink?"

"I'm really fine."

"Yes, you are," Katya thinks. She shakes her head a bit, smiling at herself because she's so stupid. If she had reconnected with Trixie before then, she might've said that out loud. Who knows? Maybe she will, eventually.

"Alright. Well, I'm a basic bitch, so we are going to Olive Garden," Katya decides on the spot. She hasn't actually thought about it, but she needed to say something to fill the silence that certainly would have become uncomfortable.

-

They get a two-seat table by the window. Katya doesn't actually like Olive Garden that much.

"How have you been? What have you been doing?" Katya asks while they wait for their food.

"I've been really good, actually. I went and lived in Chicago for a few years for college. I came back to Wisconsin a few months ago, and when I went back to my childhood house, I remember you and this." Trixie winks, and Katya can feel a brief heat rise in her cheeks. "I'm really into makeup and hair, cosmetology, but I also like dancing." Katya shifts in her seat, her legs sticking to the leather seat despite it not being that hot in there.

"How about you? What have you been up to? You've got paint on your shirt by the way," Trixie asks, and comments. Katya pulls the front of her shirt forward, and yes, she does have light purple paint on her shirt. She knows that that's probably been there for a while. Paint doesn't really come off of clothes, and if it does, Katya is definitely not responsible enough to actually try to get it out. Not anymore, at least.

"Oh, thanks," Katya laughs a little. "I'm an artist. I draw and paint stuff that people tell me to for my job. It's pretty cool. I can't imagine a better job for me, actually." Katya's not lying. She does love how she can work from home doing what she wants. Trixie's eyes are gleaming. Katya can't tell if it's because of the sunlight or not. She looks cute.

"That's so cool! I've always pegged you to be a creative person. Ever since you insisted on coloring on my clothes with crayons to make them," Trixie scrunches her fingers, making quotation marks, "more fashionable. I see you've brought your exquisite views on fashion with you into adulthood."

Katya's mouth opens slightly, and the corners of her mouth lift immediately.

"I met you an hour ago, and you're already bullying me," Katya says, sarcasm clear in her voice.

"Incorrect! You met me twenty years ago, and I've been bullying you since," Trixie recalls, matter-of-factly. Katya realizes, at that moment, that it has been twenty years. It's been so long since she first met Trixie, but she's only twenty-five.

"Are you okay? You look like you just saw Jesus," Trixie giggles.

Katya grins. "I'm good. Great, even. I just can't believe it's been that long." Katya notices that Trixie is a lot more outgoing than she used to be. Katya doesn't know if she's outgoing. She doesn't know if she was or is now.

"I still think about you sometimes," Trixie comments, her eyebrows furrow slowly, probably realizing how creepy that sounds. "I mean that in the most not-creepy way possible," she says, quickly.

Katya quietly laughs, "You're good. I think about you too." Trixie's eyes meet Katya's. Katya notices something in them but can't pinpoint it. It makes her stomach flutter. Katya doesn't like it.

"How long are you staying?" Katya breaks the silence, the gaze they were both locked in.

"I'm actually not sure. A while. I need to find a new place to live, but I don't know where I want to. I'm living at my parents' house for now."

Katya hums. They continue to talk for however long it takes them to finish their food and a little after they are done too. After many minutes of arguing who is going to pay off the check (Trixie does,) Katya speaks.

"Ready?" Katya asks, already starting to stand up.

"Yep!" Trixie chirps. Katya doesn't know what to do. As she pushes the chair in, it squeaks on the ground. She doesn't know if she should take Trixie back to her apartment or have her go home. She wants her to come back.

-

Katya leads Trixie back to her car, opening the door for her. She presses her fingers into Trixie's back, guiding her into the car. Katya's sure the feeling she's having towards Trixie is an attraction.

Trixie murmurs, "Thanks."

Katya walks around the front of her car, twisting her hips more dramatically than usual, a small bounce in her step. She closes the car door softly and sighs.

"You're welcome to come back to my place, if you want," Katya suggests, turning her head. One hand is on the back of her seat, and the other is on the steering wheel, her fingers drumming on it quietly.

"I'd like to if that's okay," Trixie says. The air is quiet. Katya's eyes find Trixie's deep brown eyes. "Definitely."

They drive in a silence that's semi-comfortable. When they walk up to Katya's apartment, Katya places her hand on Trixie's back, rubbing her thumb up and down. Trixie just turns and smiles at her. Even in the dim hallway, Katya can see the blood rush to Trixie's cheeks. Trixie. Trixie, her first best friend, Trixie. Seeing Trixie blush because of something she did makes her smile.

Katya drops her car keys in an ugly green, ceramic bowl placed on a small table next to the door. Trixie stays close to her. Katya leads them to her couch that has more than a few splotches of paint on it by now. Nevertheless, it's still comfortable.

Katya makes sure Trixie sits down, makes herself comfortable, before abandoning her to go to the kitchen to get them both water. Even if Trixie doesn't want it. Katya puts two ice cubes in each which she thinks is the perfect amount.

As Katya trots back with two glasses in her hands, she hears Trixie giggle. She's looking at her phone. Katya slows down her pace slightly. Once she's close enough, Trixie looks up at her, her eyes glowing and her lips shaped into a smile. She looks really happy.

Katya gently sets both of the overfilled glasses onto the glass coffee table, and she can already see the rings of liquid they will leave behind when they're picked up off of it.

"Thank you," Trixie politely says. "You're really generous. I'm basically a stranger, yet, you've invited me to your apartment more than once and agreed to go to dinner with me."

"You are basically my only friend."

"You're so nice! You have to have more friends!" Trixie sounds confused.

"I haven't in a while," Katya probably sounds sadder than she is. She really isn't upset at all. She enjoys being alone most of the time. At least now she does.

"Sorry," Trixie is quick to apologize.

"For what? Don't be silly. I actually prefer being alone," Katya says, shaking her head. But she stops when she sees Trixie's lips parted and her head backing away slightly.

"No! No, I like that you're here. I swear. I guess I've just gotten used to being by myself, so I feel weird when I'm around a lot of other people. But I promise I'm glad to have you here. I swear," Katya tries to assure Trixie the best that she can.

"Okay," Trixie responds simply. Trixie grins. Some part of Katya is still unsure of something. She doesn't know what.

"I feel as if somehow I knew we would see each other again."

"I think some part of me knew that would happen too. I guess I was determined when I thought about trying to find you again," Trixie responds, a softness in her voice.

"I'm surprised this question hasn't come up yet. How, uh, did you find me?" Katya's voice raising more towards the end.

"It was more by chance than anything," Trixie assured, making the point clear that she didn't stalk Katya. "I came back home for as a start, hoping you hadn't gone far from here. And hoping that your mom still lived next to me," Trixie pauses, then starts again. "Which she does."

When Trixie says her final words, she stares at Katya's eyes.

"And?" Katya urges the subject.

"And, the rest is a secret because I can't come off as creepy yet."

"Oh, I think it's too late for that," Katya laughs, bringing the back of her own hand to her lips, the vibrations traveling through it. "Yet? Meaning, I may be able to find out eventually?" Katya could add more questions like "Meaning I will see you again?" or "Meaning this isn't a one-time thing, and I will actually get to know you?" But she leaves it for another time if there is one.

"All I'm saying is, never say never," then Trixie winks. She has the audacity to wink at this woman that's basically a stranger. Katya can't even wink at herself in the mirror. Katya can't stop her eyebrows from raising a little. Of course, Trixie notices this and giggles.

"You're not at all how you were as a small child."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, besides the completely obvious, you're, like, confident Trixie. You're not afraid to talk to people," Katya says sincerely. It's what she thinks might be the truest statement. Had she heard this voice and attitude from the other side of a wall, she would have never guessed it was Trixie.

Trixie shrugs. "I guess I've worked hard on it." Katya looks at the roses that are on the counter. She can already see the edges of the petals starting to fall slightly, gracefully.

"Are you hungry?" Katya asks, so very stupidly. They just ate.

"I'm not very hungry at the moment, no."

Katya's eyebrows pull together. She doesn't know what to do with Trixie now. Trixie is in her apartment, and Katya doesn't know what to do with her. Some god blesses Katya, and Trixie notices.

"Could I maybe see some of your art?"

Katya smiles bashfully. "Okay."

Katya waves her hand for Trixie to follow her. It's not until they arrive in the doorway Katya's "office" that Katya realizes how often she doesn't draw for herself. She's very happy and content with how she lives, how she chooses to work, but she hasn't made something just to hang in her room for herself or to give to her mom.

The door squeaks as it opens. "I haven't realized until just now that pretty much all of my art is commissions, and I get paid to make them," Katya bites the inside of her lip, feeling embarrassed for some reason.

"That seems exhausting."

"It is, but I don't think I'd want to do much else for a job," Katya smiles lightly. Trixie is looking at her like she's the most incredible thing in the world.

"That's really cool, to be able to pursue a job you truly want. Especially for art because you don't have anything to build off of. It's just you and your art supplies, hoping someone will buy your creation. It's brave, in a way. I wish I had the guts to try and do that for my dream job," Trixie explains. It makes Katya realize that is was pretty risky. Risky to just assume or hope that someone would buy her art.

"I guess it was pretty brave, especially because I didn't have a backup job. What's your dream job?" Katya grins. She's never really thought about how lucky she is to have a job doing what she wants to do.

"I like singing, so I kind of want to do something with that. Nothing's come up yet, though," Trixie says, looking back into Katya's office. They stopped at the door. Each woman was leaning against opposite sides of the door frame. Katya assumes that Trixie wants to go in, so she slowly steps into the room, looking back at Trixie.

"Do you make songs? You should release one even if it doesn't work out. Then you'll have something out there. You probably sound beautiful," Katya notices the pink tint on Trixie's lightly freckled cheeks.

"I'd like to think so," Trixie smiles. "I write songs sometimes, but I've never actually shown anyone except one of my closest friends."

Katya walks to the easel that holds the project she's working on. It's taking significantly longer than they usually do, but Katya doesn't really care. She likes to think that means she will be prouder in the end.

"This is a painting I'm currently working on. It's taking longer than most of them do, but I really think it will be worth it," Katya gestures towards the huge canvas. It's quite possibly the biggest one she's used. It's a big painting of three dogs. One mama dog and her two puppies. They're Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. Both sides of the mama's face are orange with a white stripe down the middle. One of the puppies in identical its mother, and the other puppy has splotches of black. It makes Katya want a dog. Maybe a cat, or even a lizard. She's always wanted to take care of something, call it her own.

The painting is about three-fourths of the way done. "Aw! They're so adorable!" Trixie coos at the dogs. "This is so insane, Katya! It looks like a picture! You're so talented," Trixie examines the painting with wide eyes.

"Thank you, really. I haven't heard someone say that in real life in a while," Katya laughs quietly. "I think one of the main reasons it's taking ages to finish is because of all of the little individual strokes for the fur. Since it's so large, the detail really has to be spot on."

"I could never be an artist. I don't have enough patience at all."

"I may be patient, but I could never write a song," Katya beams at Trixie. She's just as sweet as she was when they were young. Katya opens a drawer and pulls out a sketchbook.

"This is from early high school," Katya tells Trixie as she hands it to her. Trixie flips through it, rubbing the tips of her fingers over the sketches.

"I bet you anything these are thirteen times better than what I can do," Trixie's smile can be heard in her voice. She looks up at Katya and hands the book back. Katya tosses it onto the desk. It makes a quiet thud.

Katya starts to walk out of the room, waving her hand, urging Trixie to follow her. She shows Trixie the art she's made in her living room.

"Ooh!" Katya says excitedly. Trixie hums, asking "what."

"That one," Katya places her hand on Trixie's shoulder and points towards one painting hanging next to a window, "is my favorite." The painting depicts a baby, maybe a toddler on the ground, it's fingertips are hands, and the hands' fingertips are also hands.

"You made that? Were you sober? Why? What was your inspiration? Why are the eyes bright yellow? I have so many questions," Trixie asks almost everything she's thinking. "Are you going to kill me? Am I going to be a sacrifice?" She adds.

Katya's mouth opens, and her eyes light up. A grin quickly grows on her face, and she blinks, looking slightly offended, but they both know it's a joke.

"You weren't supposed to figure it out yet, Trixie." Trixie scream laughs, and the loud noise makes Katya flinch slightly. It was unexpected.

"I guess I'm just that smart," Trixie looks at Katya with bright eyes, her voice humorous.

"Seems that way," Katya returns the sparkling grin that Trixie has adorning her face. They're caught in a gaze that's not comfortable nor uncomfortable, but then Trixie breaks it, suddenly looking down at her phone.

Her face falls just slightly, but she covers it up pretty well. "It's later than I thought. I should probably head home," Trixie retorts. Her face lights up for just a second.

"But," she pauses. "Here is my number," Trixie grabs a loose piece of paper, a pen, and writes her phone number down. She holds it out to Katya. Katya giggles.

"What?" Trixie asks, her mouth hanging open slightly in a smile, her arm dropping to her side.

"We both have our phones, and we could've just exchanged numbers," Katya pulls her phone out of her back pocket, holding it up for Trixie to see. "But I'm a fan of old school customaries."

Katya takes the paper that's still in Trixie's hand. Her arm is relaxed though, so Katya has to reach down, and her fingers brush Trixie's hip in the process. Trixie flinches.

"Sorry," Katya says quiet, maybe too quiet for even Trixie to hear. She doesn't respond, so Katya figures she didn't. Katya starts towards the doorway. Trixie follows.

"Is there anything you want before you leave? A drink? Snack?" Katya asks politely, offering yet another soft smile.

"I'm okay. Thank you so much though! For letting me into your home and letting me get to know you," Trixie says. It's dim, so Katya can't really tell, but she thinks Trixie's cheeks are tinted pink. She looks so sweet and welcome, Katya almost wants to hug her.

"Anytime! Really. You're welcome here anytime."

Trixie waves and flashes one more big smile, making Katya feel proud for some reason.

The door closes softly after Trixie walks out. Katya quite literally flops onto the couch, sighing because it's been a long day. A really, really long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next update shouldn't be too far away!
> 
> my tumblr is trixyavelour !!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Aww! You want me to kiss it better?" Trixie stares into Katya's eyes teasingly, but Katya can tell she's not fully joking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took longer than I wanted it to but I wanted to make sure i actually finished what I envisioned this chapter being (plot twist it's a lot different) i'm working on editing chapter one to make it better. i hope you enjoy this chapter !! my tumblr is trixyavelour if anyone cares ;p

It's been four days, and Katya has Trixie's number. Trixie doesn't have Katya's. That means Katya will have to figure out what to say to Trixie first, and she'll have to start a conversation.

She's really anxious and has been thinking about it for far too long. She has forgotten about it a few times, but her mind always comes back to it. Fuck it.

She finds her phone near the fridge on the counter. She unlocks it, her fingers shaking just slightly, but she knows if she doesn't do it now, she will keep pushing it back. She scrolls to the "T" section in her contacts, finds Trixie Mattel, clicks it, then clicks on the "send message" button.

She first types:

_Hi Trixie! This is Katya's number so you can save it. :)_

She deletes it, thinking the capital letters are intimidating and the smiley face is too cheesy. And she figures out it doesn't really make sense.

She tries again:

_hey! this is Katya. now you have my number._

Katya deletes it again, thinking there are too many periods. It gives off an annoyed aura, Katya thinks. She decides she's going to send her next attempt without looking into it.

_hey! it's Kayta_

She types it and sends it immediately, so she can't overthink it again. When she goes back to read it, she realizes she misspelled her own damn name. She whispers "oh my god" to herself before licking her lips. The damage is done, and she doesn't know how to make it better, less awkward. Katya decides it will be best if she just leaves it, so she turns her phone off and groans, tossing it next to her.

-

It's only been seven minutes since Katya sent the text when her phone dings, notifying that she's received a message. She walks back to the couch to where she left her phone, her heart beating a little faster.

Trixie's name sits in the middle of her screen. Katya swipes the notification to the left then clicks "open."

**_Trixie Mattel_ **

_hi kayta_

Katya rolls her eyes. She was nervous to open this?

**_Katya Zamolodchikova_ **

_shh. I'm not good at texting_

**_Trixie Mattel_ **

_would you rather call?_

Katya catches her bottom lip between her teeth. She's never been one for talking on the phone either all that much. Her heart beats faster again. She hasn't really talked on the phone with anyone except her mom and Alaska. It's stupid. Despite her head telling her that she will only embarrass herself more, she clicks "call." It only rings twice before Trixie answers.

"Hey," Trixie says, happily.

"Hi," Katya responds blandly.

"How's your day been," Trixie asks, sounding genuinely curious. Katya feels her blood rushing to her cheeks slightly. She hasn't been asked that in a long time.

"It's been pretty boring and uneventful actually," Katya responds truthfully.

"How so?"

"It's my day off, and I never really know what to do with myself."

Trixie scoffs, "You didn't even try to hang out with me? Am I that annoying?" Katya panics until she hears Trixie laugh through the phone.

"I didn't want to come off as clingy," Katya says.

"I promise you wouldn't have," Trixie assures, hoping her sincerity can be detected through the phone. "Next time, call or text me. I'd love to hang out," Trixie assures. Katya doesn't tell Trixie, but she knows it will take a really long while before Katya can build up the courage to actually do that.

"Are you doing anything now?" Trixie says, slowly.

"Only on the phone with you," Katya says. "It's basically the only thing I've done today if I'm totally honest," Katya can feel heat tingle around her cheeks. She can't believe she just said that.

Trixie laughs lightly. "It's barely afternoon. Do you want to meet up again?"

Katya blushes and tries to stop it even though Trixie can't even see her. She rubs her cheeks gently with her fingers.

"Y-Yeah. Okay," Katya stutters, then allows herself to grin.

"I'll text you the address?" Trixie questions. Katya is sure she can hear Trixie smiling, but she thinks it could just be in her head because she's happy.

"Sure," Katya agrees, even though she can feel her palms already sweating because she's nervous.

Katya's a friendly person. She really is, and she knows it. She just doesn't have that natural sense when it comes to having a conversation with people, especially people she doesn't know, and especially in person. It's one of the things she dislikes most about herself. She's sure she would have had so many more friends growing up if she could just learn to talk to people. It didn't really hit Katya how lonely she is until Trixie appeared (again.) It makes Katya shiver, makes her feel like she's lived her life wrong. She just assumes she has preferred being alone. Except she has wanted a pet. A companion.

"See you in a few?" Trixie asks, interrupting Katya's thoughts.

"Of course," Katya says quickly, her anxiety kicking in, she pushes it away as best as she can, though.

"Bye," Trixie says, and this time, Katya just knows that she's smiling. Her own smile peaks through, too.

"Bye."

Katya hangs up, exhaling roughly and biting her lip. Her eyes widen slightly when she thinks about what she's going to wear. What is she going to wear? Right now, she's just wearing her pajamas, an oversized t-shirt, and her underwear. She wasn't anticipating going out today at all when she got out of bed.

Katya finds her black skinny jeans on her bedroom floor. They never fail her. She slides them over her unshaven legs - it's November, she doesn't need to shave. She removes her shirt, puts on a bra, and gets an old sweatshirt from her closet. It's a worn-out red color, and whatever print was on the front has faded to the point where it's illegible. Is it too casual? She doesn't know. She isn't about to ask either.

It's only when her phone buzzes that Katya realized she was way too nervous about getting ready, and she probably could have waited a few more minutes. Maybe she will be early.

Trixie sent an address to a park Katya's never been to. The first idea that her mind has is that Trixie's going to kill her, obviously. An unknown park with a stranger? There's ever been anything more sketchy. Still, Katya sends back an, "Ok, thanks. see you in 30?" Her phone buzzes less than ten seconds later.

**_Trixie Mattel_ **

_sounds good!_

Katya rolls her shoulders back, stretching. _I guess this is happening_ , she thinks. _I'm really seeing Trixie again._

-

Twenty-seven minutes later, Katya arrives at this park. It's not too far from her apartment, so she's not totally sure how she's never seen or heard about it. As she closes her car door, a breeze passes. Making her nose and fingertips tingle. She pulls the sleeves on her sweatshirt further down her hands before taking her phone out of her back pocket.

**_Katya Zamolodchikova_ **

_we never really established a certain place. i see a picnic table under a big tree that doesn't really have many leaves left. do you know what I'm talking about?_

Katya clenches her jaw, sighing. As she was driving to the park, she realized there's not really anything to be worried about, and many of her nerves disappeared. Katya's eyes search around the park for Trixie, but she's also just observing. There are a lot more people at this park than the one Katya usually goes to. It's nicer too. The pavement isn't cracked or dirty. The pathways aren't covered in leaves either. There are lampposts lining the sides, and Katya can't imagine how peaceful it must be at night. Katya's thoughts are roughly interrupted by a powerful buzz in her hand.

**_Trixie Mattel_ **

_yes! I know exactly what you're talking about. i'll walk there now :)_

Katya's heart starts beating just a little faster as she already sees Trixie come into few from her left. Trixie doesn't see her yet, but Katya can see her head turning. She's looking. Katya picks herself up from leaning on the driver's door and starts to walk.

As if on queue, Trixie sees her. She waves and smiles brightly. Trixie re-routes her path and starts walking towards Katya, meeting her halfway.

"Hey!" Trixie says as enthusiastically as she was talking on the phone.

"Hi."

"I don't know if this is weird, I hope it isn't. But, I have a favorite part, and it's all the way," Trixie waves her arm and points behind her, standing on the tips of her toes, "back there." Trixie plops down back on her feet causing her hair to bounce in an adorable way.

"Well, lead the way!" Katya smiles back, can't help but to notice how excited Trixie seems. Trixie extends her arm towards Katya, opening her hand. Katya flinches very slightly, and she prays that Trixie doesn't notice. She doesn't. Katya stares down at her hand, confused.

"Hello! I'm leading you!" Trixie explains in a sarcastic yet playful tone. Katya removes her left hand from the front pocket of her sweatshirt where it is resting. The first thing she notices is how warm Trixie's hand is. It makes her want to apologize for her hand being borderline frozen. Katya can feel her hand heating up quickly as Trixie tugs her towards a place she doesn't know.

Katya worries about all the little things. She worries about Trixie feeling her hand starting to sweat, or how she's slightly hesitant but going with Trixie anyways because she seems really happy about it. She's worried that Trixie will realize Katya is super awkward all the time, and then she will drop her. Katya is so caught up in her own mind. She isn't thinking about walking. She just is. She knows in the back of her mind that she trusts Trixie no matter what because that's something that's never changed. Obviously, Trixie is dedicated to keeping promises.

A large crunch brings Katya back to reality. Trixie stepped on a dry pine cone. They're almost side by side. Hand in hand.

"How did you even remember?" Katya kind-of blurts. It's louder than she anticipated, and it startles Trixie. Trixie whips her head around to look at Katya, her bright hair nearly hitting Katya in the face.

"Remember what?" She looks genuinely confused. Katya gives an are-you-serious face. But she responds truthfully anyway.

"Me. What you said when we were kids." A large part of Katya hopes she will say it's always been stored in the back of her mind, and she really just wanted to follow through with it. It was a promise of course. But she doesn't. Her answer is much more realistic.

"Honestly, I only remembered up until a few years after I moved. When I came back a few weeks ago, my mind kind of flooded with childhood memories, and you were basically in every single one." Katya swears her feels Trixie's hand tighten around hers for a moment. "Then, I decided to drive by your mom's house, and then I remembered." Trixie pauses. "My mind basically screamed at me and told me I had to do it, so a few days later I went to see your mom. That's pretty much how this all happened."

"How did you know where I would be in the park?" Katya looked over to see Trixie looking ahead, still smiling. Her happy, smiley energy is transferring into Katya.

"When I saw your mom, I told her I wanted to contact you again. By some godly chance, you still live here. I thought about how to do it, you know? I thought I could ask for your number then text, but I thought that would be creepy. I als-" Katya cuts Trixie off.

"You thought that would be creepy? I think walking up to me randomly not even knowing if I would remember who you were is a bit scarier."

"Not the way I envisioned! I guess it could've been less creepy. But doing it in person is more heartfelt! It has more of a "wow" factor, and I'm always dramatic," Trixie says, her tone offended, but not serious. Katya couldn't help the way the word "heartfelt" made her cheeks go pink.

"Anyways," Trixie narrows her eyes at Katya before turning her head again, "I also thought about showing up at your doorstep, but I didn't want you to feel like you needed to invite me in if you didn't want to. I don't really know why I thought to do it at the park. Your mom told me you like to walk around and look at nature, so I asked where. I told her I wanted to surprise you." Katya notices how she never says the word "date."

Katya hums. She didn't even notice they weren't walking on pavement. They're barely in the park still. It's more like the woods.

"Just about there," Trixie retorts. Katya thinks she can feel her squeeze her hand again, but it's probably all in her head.

"That's also why I wanted to take you here," Trixie explains further even though Katya didn't question. She doesn't mind though. She likes hearing Trixie talk. "Because I heard you liked the outdoors."

After only a few seconds, Trixie announces that they've reached their destination. There's no distinguishable trail or path. Just leaves. Tons and tons of leaves and trees. They're all different colors on a spectrum of yellow to red, red to yellow. The leaves are dry so whenever they take a step, a satisfying crunch noise floods the air. The sent of leaves and dirt fill the air. Autumn. Katya looks up at the tall trees in awe.

"How did you find this place?" Katya asks, her eyes still glued to the trees towering over her short five-foot-four self.

"It's not technically part of the park. Well, it is, it's just not shown because it doesn't really have a place to walk."

"Are we even allowed to be here?" Katya looks back down at Trixie, her eyes twinkling.

"I'm not really sure, but I think the risk is worth it," Trixie replies. Katya's eyes flicker back up to the leaves. Her mouth breaks into a huge grin helplessly. Trixie grins wide back, almost like its instinct.

"What?" the taller blonde questions.

"Trixie," Katya's voice wavers with excitement. Trixie's eyebrows raise as if saying "go on."

"Can we make a leaf pile?" she says, grabbing Trixie's other hand and shaking it, jumping from one foot to the other.

"Nice to know you're still a kid at heart," Trixie laughs, not giving a definite answer.

"That sounds exactly like a yes to me!" Katya bounces, letting go of both of Trixie's hands. As she travels deeper into the woods, Katya notices how the hand that had been holding Trixie's the hold time feels cold. She rubs it on her jeans. Katya hears the crunching leaves behind her get louder and louder. Her excitement growing more intense.

"Where's a good spot," Katya asks as she turns. "Seriously, Katya. I really don't think it matters. There are leaves everywhere," Trixie shakes her head. "But," Trixie grabs Katya's wrist, walking over to a spot where there is a circle formed by trees. "I think this is the most perfect spot I've ever seen."

"Do we just use our hands to get leaves?" Katya asks, holding her hands out in front of her.

"I guess so!"

Katya grins proudly once more before they start.

-

Way too long later, Trixie and Katya have a way too large leaf pile that they probably wasted too much time on. They stand in front of it, shoulders touching. Katya rests her weight on her right hip.

"What do we do now?" Trixie asks, bumping her hip into Katya.

"I'm not really sure. I don't want to ruin this masterpiece."

Trixie giggles which make Katya's fingers twitch.

Trixie gasps and turns to Katya. She puts her hand on Katya's arm. Katya feels warm.

"We can take, like, super adorable pictures!"

"Sounds good to me. When I'm old and can't remember things, maybe they'll come in handy."

Trixie squeals before taking her phone out. Katya stares awkwardly at the pile, then at Trixie. Something clicks in her mind saying what the fuck are you doing with this stranger, but she does her best to ignore it.

"What do I do?" Katya asks, starting to trudge her feat through the leaves that have fallen out. Trixie considers for a moment, looking up into the sky. A cold breeze passes by them, causing Trixie to shiver even though she's better dressed for the chilly weather than Katya.

"Just sit in it and look cute," Trixie decides, urging Katya forward with her hand.

"That might be difficult," Katya turns her head back to look into Trixie's eyes. The reds and oranges all around Trixie's frame really make her blue eyes pop.

"Sitting in it or looking cute?"

Katya laughs, her gaze never shifting. "Probably both."

"I object," Trixie shouts, raising her hand. Katya chooses then to look away, her cheeks becoming too warm for her comfort.

"For which one?" Katya glances behind her, picking up a leaf to play with.

"Probably both," Trixie mocks, and Katya's eyes widen. She clenches the leaf in her hand causing it to turn to a million small pieces. She drops the pieces and wipes her hand on the side of her thigh. Instead of responding, Katya twists on her toes and lowers herself into the front of the pile.

"What if I ruin it?"

"We will rebuild it."

Katya doesn't know why, but she really likes how Trixie said, "We will rebuild it," instead of, "We can rebuild it." Trixie holds up her phone, waiting, expectantly. She widens her eyes and shakes her head, saying anytime now to Katya.

"I'm so awkward!" Katya complains. "I don't know how to look cute."

"Just smile."

"Make me."

Trixie laughs, her voice echoing through the woods. That alone causes Katya to start smiling. Trixie's really good at observing because, amongst her laughing, she still takes a picture that's disgustingly candid.

"You did it!" Trixie exclaims, turning to show her phone to Katya.

"Did what?" Katya takes the phone from Trixie's hands, still looking at Trixie's face instead.

"Looked cute! Adorable even! It barely took anything." God, could Trixie be any more flirtatious? Katya grins, still, because she likes the attention.

The picture is at the perfect angle. It was taken right in front of Katya, not above so that it would be looking down at her. Katya didn't even notice Trixie lower her camera. The nature to Katya ratio is perfect. It doesn't look like she's being completely engulfed in leaves and trees while still making it look like Katya's in a colorful Autumn wonderland which she kind of is. Especially because Trixie's there.

"Or," Katya looks up again, handing the phone back. Their fingers brush, and Katya is overwhelmed with warmth despite it being freezing. "You're just really good at taking pictures," Katya says matter-of-factly.

"Well, thank you." Trixie reaches her hand down towards Katya to help her up. Katya intertwines their fingers easily, without hesitation. Trixie pulls her up without much restraint.

"I can't promise yours will be as good," Katya warns, reaching for her own phone.

"Just use mine," Trixie shoves her phone back into Katya's hand. "And, I'm sure it will be great. You're an artist. You have visions," Trixie's eye's find Katya's. They look sincere, her pupils looking as if they know all about Katya. All about the good in her.

Trixie sits in the same spot Katya was, the dent still clear where Katya's body was sat.

"I'm going to look to my right, but still take the picture. I want it that way," Trixie remarks seriously.

"Got it," Katya assures, smiling at Trixie behind the big phone sat in her delicate hands.

-

It's been a month since Trixie first came back into Katya's life. Katya is actually living her life, or that's what it feels like. For the first time in a really long time, Katya actually feels something. Before, Katya was just living her life because she had to. She wasn't happy nor was she sad. She was just there. Now, she feels like she's living her life for her. Living her life so that she's _happy_.

It's also almost Christmas. Trixie loves Christmas. The smells, the food, the welcoming atmosphere that seems to be everywhere. She loves the way that Christmas lights are strung around the outsides of houses and buildings. She's never been bothered by the cold, but she that doesn't mean she isn't relieved to walk into a room with heat. Warmth.

So, when Katya opens her apartment door and greets her with a hug, Trixie sighs of happiness and contentedness. Even though Trixie was only outside for about two minutes, it was cold enough for her nose and cheeks to turn a rosy pink. Snowflakes swirl around in the wind rapidly. Everything about it is perfect.

"Your apartment looks so sad," Trixie pokes Katya's side as she pulls away from her warm embrace. She continues, "Is this really how you celebrate Christmas?"

"Well, I usually go to my mom's house for Christmas, so why would my apartment even need to be decorated?" Katya defends, her tone playful.

Trixie unzips her jacket, pulling it off of her body, "It's about Christmas spirit! You're thinking way too much about it! Just imagine a small tree in that," Trixie hangs her jacket before pushing Katya into the living room. Trixie points to the left side of the TV over Katya's shoulder, "corner. It would be so cute! The most spirit I see here is a cinnamon scented candle, and that's lame." Trixie pulls Katya to her side by her waist. "Can we please decorate it?" Trixie's thumb rubs up and down on Katya's side. Katya's cheeks heat up quickly, and it's not because the heat turned a few moments ago again.

One thing Katya realized almost immediately is that Trixie is very naturally flirtatious. Katya doesn't know if it's only towards herself or everyone, but she likes to think it's only her. Katya bites her bare bottom lip. She can see Trixie staring at it through her peripheral vision.

Katya turns her head to look at Trixie before resting her head on her shoulder. "Okay," she says, and Trixie can hear the smile in her voice. It's something she's been able to recognize over the past month.

They've seen one another at least three times a week since they "met," and they called each other almost every day. Katya never thought she would prefer calling somebody over texting, but she always wants to talk to Trixie. She likes her voice. Trixie's voice calms her, and if she's ever feeling anxious, it will soothe her at least a little bit. Katya hasn't been so grateful for someone in a long time.

-

Before she knows it, Katya is shopping for overpriced Christmas decorations with Trixie. Trixie tugs Katya through aisles covered in glitter and lights.

"Do you want a white tree or a green tree," Trixie stops to look over her shoulder.

"I," Katya stutters, thinking about it. "Does it matter?" Katya tilts her head, furrowing her dirty blonde eyebrows. Trixie's mouth gapes.

"Of course it matters! Which one do you like better? I personally think white would clash with the entire room," Trixie gives her input, taking Katya's hand, leading her to the artificial trees.

"Well, then green is good."

Katya pauses, squeezes Trixie's hand to get her attention. "Won't I get a ton of little plastic pieces of 'leaves' all over my house?"

Trixie rolls her eyes, "Obviously, but, Katya! Christmas!" she whines. Her eyes bulge in a way that makes Katya's heart thump a little bit harder.

Katya walks up in front of Trixie, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "What color lights do you think would be good? Rainbow or white?" With one hand, she points to one of the trees on display with an array of colored lights, and with the other, points to one with lights that glow an off-white color.

"Rainbow definitely matches whatever aesthetic your living room follows," Trixie walks over to where all of the trees with colorful lights are located.

"I don't know what that aesthetic is, but I guess I'll trust your judgment," Katya replies, her boots dragging against the smooth floor.

They decide on a five-foot-tall tree because Katya doesn't want to deal with anything else. They're also both dumbasses and forgot a cart, so Trixie runs back to the front of the store to get one which takes entirely too long. Katya can't tell if it takes her five minutes or fifteen. Either way, Katya gets far too bored standing in front of the bright display.

"Took you long enough!" Katya says loudly when Trixie comes back into view however many minutes later.

"I'm not in shape, and I will never be in shape, and I'm getting shamed for it," Trixie pokes at Katya's front. They both start giggling more than needed.

"I don't care if you are or aren't in shape, Trixie," Katya hugs Trixie's side, and Trixie notices a sincerity behind the way her voice sounds. She doesn't question it. She only squeezes her arm around Katya's back.

They shove the box of the tree under the actual basket of the cart, then stroll to where the ornaments and tinsel is.

"You seem to be the expert," Katya tells honestly. "What colors?"

Trixie examines all of the shiny hues and glittering tree ornaments. "I think red and silver tinsel would look best, and classic ornaments that are red, green, and gold would be good. We are definitely, for sure, one-hundred-percent making homemade adorable ornaments too, though." Trixie's eyes flicker towards Katya before bouncing excitedly. She grabs what's probably too much tinsel and throws it into the cart. Trixie gets minimal ornaments, insisting that it will "force them to make ornaments because if they don't, the tree will look sad."

"I don't think Christmas trees can look sad," Katya mumbles, starting to push the cart back towards the front of the store.

"They can. I promise," Trixie keeps her head facing forward, and Katya can't tell what it is, but she knows that Trixie's voice doesn't sound as cheerful. Katya, personally, hates getting asked if she's okay, so, she doesn't press it.

Along the way, Trixie gets pine cones that smell unnaturally good. She also gets a stuffed snowman because apparently, Katya's bed needs to look fit for the season as well.

They roll up to a self-checkout because both of them don't have the patience to have somebody else scan what they're purchasing. As they scan the last of their few things, Katya sees out of the corner of her eye, Trixie reaching to her back pocket. She flips her head around quickly.

"No. No, Trixie. It's my apartment. I'm buying it." Trixie scoffs and rolls her eyes.

"I'm the one making you do this."

"I wouldn't if I didn't actually want to," Katya urges. It's a half-lie, half-truth. She does want to because Trixie wants to, wants to for her, but she actually couldn't care less about how her apartment looks for the holidays. But Trixie knows if she really didn't want to, no matter the reason, she would tell Trixie that.

"Katya," Trixie replies sternly.

"Trixie," Katya mocks, widening her eyes and wiggling her head.

"Katya. Seriously," Trixie reaches her hand up to put her fingers under Katya's chin. Katya's lips part, reeling in the feeling of Trixie's soft fingertips stroking her jaw. She's so caught up in Trixie's gaze that she doesn't even notice Trixie sliding her card into the slot to pay. Katya hears a beep, her head turning to where the noise was produced on instinct. She immediately wishes she didn't that she didn't turn her head. She wishes she stayed there longer, in a trance where nothing existed except for Trixie.

The noise of the store buzzes back into Katya's brain. The constant click that occurs when something is scanned and cashiers saying, "Have a great day!" on a loop. Katya whines, "Trixie! Why would you do that?" Katya technically asks a question, it's more of a complaint. She bulges her bottom lip out before laughing at the way Trixie flashes a stern "mom-look."

"Just think of it as a Christmas present," Trixie grazes her fingers over Katya's chin again before squeezing it. Katya groans before grabbing as many bags as she can and turns to trot away, leaving Trixie to carry the tree.

-

As expected, Katya ends up with hundreds, maybe thousands of tiny slivers of green, bendy plastic covering her floor. Trixie shoves the third and last part of the tree on top.

"We haven't even opened the sprigs yet. How am I meant to clean my floor?" Katya sighs, placing her hand on her hip.

"I'm pretty sure you'd use a vacuum, but from what I see, you probably don't even know what that is," Trixie teases, already starting to laugh.

"I don't ever need to vacuum! What's the point? I don't ever make a mess!"

"You don't even have one, do you?" Katya shakes her head. "Looks like this is part of the decor now!" Trixie says cheerfully. "We will get one at some point," she adds. The word we sticks out to Katya.

"Help me spread the leaves out," Trixie waves Katya over, her loose red sweater falling down her wrist. Katya skips over, almost running into Trixie which causes her to topple over slightly.

Katya lasts approximately three minutes before saying, "I hate doing this."

"It's part of the cheap-Christmas-apartment experience!" Trixie pats Katya's shoulder.

"Why can't they just come spread out?" Katya cries in fake agony. She places the back of her hand on her forehead before adding, "I'm in so much pain, Trixie! It keeps pricking my fingers, and they're starting to cramp!" Katya walks backward until she hits the couch where she falls back dramatically. Trixie follows her and flops onto the couch next to her.

"It's worth it in the end!" Trixie exasperates. "Finish it with me! For me." Katya's eyes flicker to Trixie from under her hand before sighing.

"Only for you."

Trixie shushes her, bringing a finger up to her lips, "I know you want to at least a little bit."

Katya pushes herself to sit up correctly. "Okay! You got me! But you better help me clean it up," she throws her arms up, her hand landing on Trixie's thigh with a sharp sound. Trixie gasps,"You bitch!" She continues, "And we both know I'll be the only one actually cleaning up," she pokes Katya's side, and she shrieks of laughter.

Minutes later, Trixie and Katya are sitting on the couch with glue, string, and different colors of paper strewn across the small coffee table that they're using for their workspace.

"Trixie!" Katya whines. "It's all sticking to me!" she waves her hand in front of Trixie's face. Trixie swats Katya's hand away.

"A wise woman once told me, 'A little bit of glue goes a long, long way.'"

"Trix, I'm not a child, and I can use as much glue as I want."

"Oh, for sure. Tell that to your hands that make a mess of anything they touch."

"It's a curse," Katya wiggles her hands dangerously close to Trixie's face.

"Okay! Okay. Go wash your hands!" Trixie bumps Katya's hip, shuffling on the couch.

Trixie goes into more detail than Katya can ever imagine her own self-caring enough to do. She cuts several different sized polka-dots to glue onto her first, and probably last, ornament. Katya absolutely adores that Trixie is putting so much effort into something just for her little, dumb Christmas tree.

As Katya waits for the water at the sink to become warm, she heard Trixie start to hum "Silent Night." Katya is sure her heart is going to burst. She's so  _fucking happy_  almost all of the time because of this woman that walked back into her life. Katya flips her head around over her shoulder to glance at Trixie, and she sees her rocking from side to side with her hair swaying along with her. The sight is angelic, at least to Katya it is. She can't imagine wanting anything else from someone as a friend.

Katya is gazing for so long that the water is way too hot for Katya to comfortably wash her hands in. Her hand runs through the water for only half a second before screeching and bringing the tips of her middle and index finger to her mouth. Katya is startled when she finds Trixie at her side when she looks up again.

One of Trixie's hand falls on Katya's forearm while the other is brought up to Katya's hand. "What happened? Are you okay?" Trixie's eyebrows scrunch up with worry.

Katya brings her fingertips out of her mouth before responding, "No, really, I'm fine. The water just got too hot, and I burned myself a little." Trixie reaches around her to turn off the running hot water, that now has steam exuding from it. "Aww! You want me to kiss it better?" Trixie stares into Katya's eyes teasingly, but Katya can tell she's not fully joking.

"Of course, Mom," Katya hold her hand up. "Where does it hurt, baby?" Trixie picks Katya's hand up with her own, avoiding the spots that are still sticky. Katya uses her other hand to point to the spots on her fingers. Trixie lifts her hand delicately as if it's a bubble that could break at any moment. She presses her lips tenderly to the spot, lingering longer than needed. Not that any of this is really necessary. Still, Katya's eyes follow their hands as Trixie "heals" her.

After Trixie brings her hand back down she starts giggling, and Katya grins. "All better now."

Trixie continues, "Actually wash your hands now, and turn the water down. I'm getting lonely over there."

Katya watches and observes Trixie's face, sighing on the inside, wondering how she got so lucky. When Trixie turns around to go back to the couch, Katya swallows. She actually washes her hands this time, her mind racing with thoughts. When Trixie kissed her fingers, it made her  _feel_ things. Things that she's never felt before. Things that keep her heart racing a minute after it happened.

After she dries her hands, she shakes her head as if she's erasing all of her thoughts. This proves to be useless, though, because when Katya sits back onto the couch, Trixie's arm finds its way around her waist, bringing all of the thoughts back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you enjoyed! feedback is VERY greatly appreciated! send me questions at my tumblr trixyavelour

**Author's Note:**

> feedback? would you like the next chapter of this or My Notebook next? ask me questions on my tumblr trixyavelour!


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